Best Laid Plans

For all intents and purposes my stream of regular writing ended in January when I started my job at Active Minds. I always figured that I would eventually return to writing or blogging or something, but after six months at my current job I still haven’t made my way back. I’ve wanted to motivate myself, but I didn’t know how to do it. There just wasn’t a spark there. It’s as though my life has been drained of all passion. It’s not limited to writing either, political issues that would have gotten me whipped up into a fervor mere months ago now barely register. So here I am, six months later, forcing myself to sit down at my computer and type this out. This entry is going to ramble as I struggle to find a coherent theme and get back in a rhythm. This blog entry may end up being incredibly self-serving as I work through my own personal issues. But my reason for writing it isn’t deeply personal. It’s because on Saturday I got a genuine and important comment on something I posted in March. It was someone telling me that I should keep this up because it gives people dealing with their own mental health issues a look at how I manage to live with this on a day-to-day basis.

I figure I should update anyone who is still interested in this or in me or my struggles on some of the developments over the past few months. The one that is going to make the most appearances on here is the fact that I started seeing a therapist at the Center for Eating Disorders in Towson to deal with body image issues and some emotional eating triggers that are directly tied to the rest of my mental health issues. I’ve made tremendous progress and feel as though I’m in a stable and healthy place with regards to that side of my life for the first time, maybe ever. I’ll talk more about it in days to come. I think it’s important that I put it out there now though. People who have read this blog in the past know I’m not shy about disclosing things.

Anyway as I struggle in my rediscovery of passion and joy in my life you will, as always, have a front row seat. This will not be a search for what it means to be happy because as Camus once wrote:

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.